I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
