dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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