Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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