Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
