I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
