I didn't shave. On purpose
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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