brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He shit in the fireplace
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
