he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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