Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
