I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You can't just leave with hair like that
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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