Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
