I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
