i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
