After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
