and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
