She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
