I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
3pm strippers are depressing
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
