Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
