Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
