she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
