Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
