i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
