new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
