I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
