Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
