But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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