we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
