if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
