Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
