so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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