U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
