she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
