Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
