My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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