tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
