There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
