and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
