Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
