Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
did i just pee glitter
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