If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
