I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
it's like heaven, but drunker
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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