Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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