I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
