I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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