He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
