Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
