wat bout pragnant strippers??
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Randomize