He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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