do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
