It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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